söndag 13 december 2015

At home for a while now

But I am NOT going to jinx it. My wound onmy right leg is getting better but the droopy foot that I got when one of the docs, before the amazing Anki came along, made a huge booboo by trying to convert my intravenous meds to pills and not doing the correct calculations wich made me bedwritten and my right foot started to droop.

Now the little bugger is getting all kinds of overuse and in return it makes it nearly impossible to walk without wanting to cry all the time.

I am at a loss... I need beads and fireline AND ofc guts to start beading again to even have a chance to go to Stuttgart... but the guts to start beading again is now tainted by the previuos two times I got out from the hospital and starting to nest back into my own apartment.. Exactly the time I feel safe I get re admitted with wounds again...

Even though that seems farfetched this time because of my actual healing, I had far below the lowest acceptable albumine level when I got out of the hospital so I have edemas wich makes clothing a... well a challenge.. The least acceptable level of albumine is 38, I had 24 when I was signed out. That is the same level as I have had when being admitted all three times...

Get my anxiety?

And I am trying like a banshee to win a case of Preciosa Ornelas 
Chilli Beads. They are one of the more amazing looking two hole beads that has flooded the beadingworld since my first meeting with the pain and unknowing of the health of my self... they started with the twin bead, then they came out with the superduo and then it just rattled on and now I think I am in love with the chilli beads... but You know my luck right?

I have been promised some fireline so that I can bead but I still need needles and guts to take the chance that I wont be admitted again... Well heck, I refuse to go back in. If they want to treat me, they can come here. Lay on my sofa and pay for food, and the meds because that is somethoing that actually happened this time.
The first six to eight  months of  my stay in the hospital, I payed for the medicine. They actually came into my room and told me that my friend had to go and get me this and that medicine because it is out.
In the swedish healthcare system, if you get admitted, you have to pay a quite large sum each month. In this sum there is bed, healthcare, medicine and food included.

As I said, I paid for my own meds the first months and when the kitchen screwed up, like not sending me my food or eggs that was cooked the first 5 mm of the white and the rest of the egg was raw. Then I payed for something to eat as well.

So I did´nt have the money to buy beads or threads or needles... I just went with what I had.

Now I want to enter the IBA contest that, if I make finalist, will take me to Stuttgart. The first place outside of Sweden for me... Ever... I have not even been to Finland or Norway, The ferry to finlkand is swedish ground and if you are to young and stupid that you are to drunk to get down the stairs to the docks... then you never left sweden...
And the trip to Norway... it was a trip they took to get away from me and my insanity... I have aspergers and they called me insane and still do if cornered...

Oh and I have a stalker! A man woman who takes credit checks on me, search out were I live, tries to badmouth me around the beading community... As long as she stays on her side of the pond I am happy.

Long post but that is what happens when you are away for so long...

Until next time <3 br="">

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